Conquering Fear
Fear is one of the greatest obstacles to reaching our goals. We may think we’re stalled because of other people’s objections, insufficient resources or circumstances outside our control. But it is often fear that keeps us from seeing a way around barriers- causing us to abandon our dreams.
We can’t eliminate fear.
But we can manage it… and move past it.
Fear of being imperfect
A perfectionist may avoid pursuing an opportunity if he/she isn’t sure they will excel at it… whether developing a new skill, going after a big client or starting a conversation with a stranger.
Perfectionists lose out on learning and growing from mistakes. They also waste time on details because they’re afraid to delegate — they don’t trust anyone else to do the job right.
If you spend a great deal of time planning for every contingency rather than taking action, you may be paralysed by perfectionism.
Strategy I: Delegate a minor task, and keep quiet if it’s done adequately but not brilliantly. Practicing “non-perfectionism” on other people can help you become more tolerant of yourself.
Strategy II: Try a hobby you might like — but think you won’t do well at. Take a jewellery making class if you’re all thumbs… or a comedy workshop if you have trouble thinking on your feet. Your confidence — and ability to take risks — will grow as you learn to survive looking silly.
Fear of disapproval
If you feel you must be liked by everyone, you’ll waste energy trying to satisfy people who are insignificant in your life. Or you may postpone making overtures to people who could help you.
Strategy I: Create a support team of friends and family members that you can rely on to build you up when you are down. Turn to them when you feel — or anticipate being — rejected. They can remind you of what you’re doing right.
Key: Create this team before you need it. Start by giving of yourself to others so that you have a network when you need it.
Strategy II: Keep an “ego file.” Save letters and E-mails in which people have complimented or thanked you. When you need reassurance, read through the file.
Fear of change
Even when we want things to be different, change can make us feel uncomfortable and vulnerable.
Strategy: Build as much familiarity as possible into any new situation. Identify daily routines that make you feel anchored and content — from walking the dog to reading the paper over your morning coffee. Pick at least three of these anchors, and resolve to continue doing them every day, no matter what else happens.
Example: It is difficult to make sales calls, so I start each morning by reading a motivational or quote book and having my favourite coffee. Then I’m prepared to make calls.
